Code: I think Alice will still do many things to get back at me for not contacting her for so many years, but for today she told me to answer any question you may have about vampires and etcetera. I'll be getting drunk while we do this, if that's okay with you.
Jeremy: Do I have an option to not be okay with that?
Code: Nope.
Code had already chosen a bottle of scotch from Dean's shelf, and poured half a glass before leaning back on his chair. Taking a sip, he raised the glass towards Jeremy, signaling him to start questioning.
Jeremy: Thought so. Anyway, first things first. Do you really burn under sunlight?
Code: We used to, many years ago. But as the ages went by, we evolved and adapted, like every living thing does. Though we're not actually living things, but... Oh, well. You get my point. Nowadays, our flesh won't burn and fall off our bones if we stand under the sunlight, but we may exhaust ourselves faster during the day than during the night, and we still prefer the shadows anyway.
Jeremy: And to this day you need to drink blood to live?
Code: Yes.
Jeremy: Human blood?
Code: Yes.
Jeremy: Aren't other animals, or creatures, or whatever, an option? Couldn't that necessity evolve as well?
Code: No. Werewolf blood stinks, witch blood is acid... Too many variables. Humans are the best and only option. About "evolving", I don't see that happening in the foreseeable future.
Code made gestures to position the quotation marks on his sentence, and was apparently pleased with his choice of words for that answer.
Jeremy: So you're murderers, in the end.
Code scoffed, taking another sip.
Jeremy: And you still manage to sleep at night.
Code: We don't really need to sleep, you see. We're not alive, we don't need the things your kind does...
Jeremy: That's not what I meant.
Code: I know what you meant.
Jeremy stared at him with an expression of disapproval. The vampire drank what remained in his glass, rolling his eyes at Jeremy's expression.
Code: Are you trying to make me feel bad about it? Come on, newbie, think about it. It's a matter of survival, alright? We're predators. It's the way things are. I'll never feel bad about my own nature. If we were to talk about things to this extent, actually, it would be safe to say vampires don't even feel things.

Jeremy: Do you bleed?
Code: Our blood is ash.
Jeremy: You said you don't really need to sleep, but you also said you can exhaust yourselves. And, also, do you have any need for eating things besides drinking blood?
Code: Our bodies do take the toll of our activities, didactically speaking. And we can eat, just like you do, but the blood consuming is what really gives us energy and power. What I mean is that we have no real "need" for those things, but we can "do" them, you see.
Jeremy: I don't think I can really grasp the concept of you not being alive. I mean, you walk around, and you look like you have blood flowing, you all have healthily built bodies, and all. You're pale as fuck, of course, but I just can't...
Code: That's completely understandable, newbie. It's complicated to explain how it works. But the fact is: we're dead creatures.
Jeremy fell silent, and Code used the opportunity to pour more scotch. Crossing his arms and positioning one hand below his chin, Jeremy seemed to be thinking more carefully about his next question.
Jeremy: How does one kill a vampire?
Code: Oh, newbie.
With a smile, Code placed his glass of scotch gently on the table and got up. Reaching to his coat's pocket, he grabbed a silver dagger and casually slit his own throat from ear to ear. Jeremy's jaw dropped in horror, as he could see a kind of mist surrounding Code's neck, apparently coming from inside his throat, and he thought that's what Code meant by "ash". Jeremy blinked, and Code was gone. He leaned forward, meaning to look around and search, but his movements were suddenly restrained. A strange paralyzing sensation overcame him, as if the air that he had just breathed into his lungs had frozen midway through his throat. He grabbed the arms of the chair, feeling faint, and his vision had started to turn black. Before losing consciousness, Jeremy caught a glimpse of Code, with his head perfectly attached to his neck without a single cut, reappearing very close to him with a large smile, displaying a collection of sharp teeth, his eyes colored an intense dark red.
Code: One doesn't.
~TO BE CONTINUED~
Oh, I'm not telling this story in any chronological order, 'kay. I never have.
And I also somehow feel like this one would really work as a webcomic, but I can't draw to save my life.