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July 20, 2021
Cold Weapon

Alice looked out the window, occupying two thirds of the train's seat, the backpack beside her occupying the remaining third. The cart was relatively empty, therefore the most talkative passengers where a fair distance away and were no cause of disturbance for her. Alice didn't feel sleepy, but she stared out the window as if she expected the landscape to inspire good dreams. "The human's sky is so blue", she thought. There was something kind of nostalgic, in that blue sky. A nostalgia from something she couldn't exactly tell what it was, something that had happened a long time ago, when she still couldn't form memories about things. Alice's skies were never blue. Her strongest memories, even of the happiest occasions in her life, were characterized by a dark sky, with either many clouds or tainted red, tall flames licking the surrounding air. She would imagine that, if Lena didn't force Ella to wear blindfolds over her eyes at all times, she would have the same nostalgic feeling when she saw that blue sky. The both of them were very similar, in that regard. Potentially strong, restricted by their own bodies. Maybe Ella didn't have an exact notion of how fragile her bones were and how a stronger liberation of her power would make her existence collapse onto itself like a star about to become a supernova, since she never had the opportunity to test out just how great this power was. Much like Alice didn't have the time to control the latent force within her, that might still be running through her veins, waiting for an opportunity for liberation, waiting for the walls to crumble. Their potentials had been stolen, one by an overprotective sister and a sadly incapable body, another by the distorted values of an ancient hierarchy that caused an enemy to emerge, unable to finish what they decide to start. They had been crippled. Alice would catch herself wondering if it would be better to not exist at all, instead of existing in half. Trying to push that thought away, she closed her eyes, deep diving in her thoughts. The images of that cloudy sky and the shades of red flooding in still persisted for a few moments, being replaced by a memory of a starry night, and a friendly, although unidentifiable, face. The face wasn't smiling, and Alice tried to identify them by analyzing the color of their eyes, which got sharper with the light from the moon, imagining a familiar shade of dark cherry might appear...

Garin Chadwick @ Unsplash

She heard movement in the third of the seat occupied by her backpack and, in a swift and light movement, she uncrossed her legs and moved her left hand, holding the backpack's cloth in a tight grip, turning her body towards the left while kicking with her right leg and grabbing the handle of the dagger tied to her ankle. Opening the clasp with a click, she spun the dagger in her right hand, holding it perpendicularly to her extended foot against the jugular of the lad grabbing one of her backpack's straps with one hand and holding the other one high in a sign of surrender.

— I was about to uncover a memory I didn't know I had — Alice introduced, opening one eye. — So, for you own well-being, I hope you had a real good reason to want to steal my backpack, like, for example, being famished and imagining that a well-dressed like myself would have packed at least one honey-flavored bun for the long trip. If that's not the case, I'm sorry to inform that I'll have to slide this fine blade through your muscular chin as punishment for, beyond disturbing my train of thought, attempting against my personal property, unless you're kind enough to back away right now and go take a walk in the front cart.

Blinking with some force, as someone who has just woken up, and showing her slightly red irises right after, Alice stared at the lad, waiting for a well-articulated answer, even if she knew that answer wouldn't come. The lad swallowed dry, loosening the hand that held the backpack and raising it to match the other.

— A vampire, in a human train? — the lad asked.

— I'm not a vampire.

— Then... Are you high? — he tried, with a crooked smile.

— I'm not human either.

Alice smiled, and the lad had a glimpse of what would be the smile of a certain striped cat in a certain fantastic story, if it was true. In part, the story was indeed true, but the lad probably did not want to spend any more time with Alice's charades and decided to exit slowly, walking backwards towards the next cart. "They have such a beautiful blue sky to admire and nevertheless...", she thought, laughing, before turning towards the window again, looping one arm through her backpack's strap.


So, here's the thing. May I tell you a story?

Back in September 2008, in a land far, far away, I started writing a fantastic story. Of all the narratives I've created, this one is the most elaborate and detailed, there are many characters and scenarios and soundtracks and also things that I'm still not sure how to place within it. What happens is that I have a lot of doubts about it, what can I do so that a story with vampires and werewolves is still relevant, whether or not it is interesting, if someone will still enjoy it... And while selecting a few texts to publish here I ended up getting carried away with choosing the ones I like the most, but if I suddenly just throw them at someone who has never read anything about it, it would be almost a disservice. So I decided to take a step back, revisit a few passages and share them kind of in order. We can agree that there are things that sound amazing when you're 14 and over a decade later, not so much. Not that it's bad, it's just different. Can you tell I want to be as careful as possible with this story? :D

But that's it, I feel that revisiting all of this is going to do me some good.
I hope you like it, maybe as much as I do.

P.S.: Part of me thinks "Alice" is the cliché-est of cliché names, but there's no helping it, it's the character's name, if I call her something else she won't answer, you know?

Sincerely,
Júlia P. V. Souza

Soundtrack